today i started my morning off a little bit differently. after dropping my mother off at work, i decided to go to my local gym to occupy myself. so i hopped on the treadmill and started to warm up before sprinting. after running the first few minutes, i realized how emotionally exhausted i am and how much i needed this feeling. i felt free. sometimes im so caught up in my life that i forget to catch my breath and reward myself for the small things. it kind of sucks how there is absolutely nothing we can control in our lives, literally. the only thing we can really manipulate is our feelings, responses, and views. but what’s the point in that? i wish i could be in control of everything in my life the way i can control how fast im running. when i run, im the boss. i can go slower, i can pause whenever i feel overwhelmed and take a sip of water when i feel exhausted. the luxury of control is overwhelmingly expensive though. taking control of our lives would come at a significant price. for one, who wants to work every day of their lives ? taking control of this routine and deciding to travel the world with nothing in our pockets comes with a sacrifice. taking control of how much time we spend in bed would mean than we wouldn’t make it in time to our jobs, colleges, etc. i hate that, i hate feeling like i cant be in control. this is my life, this is my time, like let me have control of this. let my life be like a run. stop suffering whenever i want, stop going so fast if i want. sometimes i wish my life simply consisted of just running, because im only in control when im there. i would keep running.