one of the things that are engraved in our hearts and forever stored in our minds is our past.

the past does not evaporate the way that rain on concrete does

it does not wash away the same way that rocks on the ocean do

it is stuck within us, whether we choose to remember it or not is simply a choice.

I feel misunderstood,

my past is not clear to me, i’m twenty and I still have yet to understand why the events in my life occurred the way that they did.

one thing is for sure though: life fucking goes on

life won’t wait for us to understand it, we just push through our pain and learn to deal with it.

it doesn’t make sense

why do we fail to learn from the past?

why do we continue to do the things that harmed our nation?

why do we continue to kill each other, literally and metaphorically?

why do women continue to shame one another, knowing how greatly it has impacted women in the past, women like Amanda Todd in 2012

dead at the embrace of ropes suffocating her neck when she jumped off her chair

sometimes I wonder how she must’ve felt. I wonder if she felt misunderstood, abused, ridiculed. I wonder so many things.

why do men continue to objectify women, knowing how many women are victims of rape, women like Artemisia Gentileschi in 1611

living her life in silence because justice was never an option, she sculpted art with her hands, the same ones that helplessly tried to escape an event that would change her life forever

all because she was “asking for it”

what the fuck is wrong with us?

the problem here is though, speaking up about these issues makes no difference. nobody will ever reflect. learning from the mistakes of our past is evidently nothing but a fucking joke.

women will continue to hurt each other, men will continue to take advantage of innocent women, and we will continue to be a fucked up society.

I will never understand this, and im sure ill never be understood. the same way that Amanda Todd wasn’t understood, and Artemisia Gentileschi wasn’t understood.

the past does not erase itself, forgetting it happened does not make us good people, it makes us cowards.

we are a disgrace, and no amount of remediation will change this fact.

j