jas and life

so i finally graduated from my first degree in college and will be starting nursing school next month. the crazy part of this is that i dont know how to feel about it. people ask me, “so what are you doing in school?” and obviously i reply “nursing”. there are two different reactions i get:

1.) wow thats amazing! eyes on the prize, you got this.

2.) damn your life is going to suck. if you cry now, you are sure to cry a whole lot more once you start.

so like? whats the truth? i seriously do not know how to feel about it. i mean, i guess im excited to learn new things, but am i really ready to cry even MORE than i already do? i dont even think im ready to cry as much as i do now, im hoping for the best.

new things are never easy and i feel like the worst part of starting something new is that there is so much room for error. i mean, think of the thousands of ways we could potentially mess up in anything new. the opportunities are endless, but so are the failures. yesterday i graduated and felt a sense of relief, but at the same time i felt like something was missing. it almost felt like a glimpse of doubt, what if i cant make it to the next chapter? what if this is the only time i’ll every succeed in my life? what if my parents expect more? yes, im not fond of trying new things, like at all. at restaurants i always order the same exact thing, because im truly scared of the unknown. its petrifying to think of the unknown. i cant make changes in my life because i feel like they will all end the same way, catastrophic and full of error. but at least you get to read a little bit about this. i want to thank you for reading on my journey to thriving and overcoming the unknown fears. i love you.